allison teresa (riveroncecried) wrote,
allison teresa

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My art... I am worried, because I still can't draw as well as I used to. And considering how (not to sound conceited, but... ) good I was with just a freakin' pencil and printer paper.... this is a low blow to my self-esteem. 

I can't feel proud of my work when it looks lop-sided even to the untrained eye... 

I'm afraid to even bring my recent artwork into daylight now... ASHAMED is the word. 

And my imagination is lacking. My transferrence of my goals from an animator to a marine scientist/whatever the hell I really plan to be in the future.... has gotten in the way.. 

When I watch anime, now, all I feel is a void. Occasionally I'll feel a pang of emotion because of the plots.. but... nothing in most cases. And I have to rely on manga to get my heart-rate up, because most normal books aren't capturing my attention... 

Everything really is piling on at once and I really don't like this feeling. At all. It makes me feel like a disgrace.

I just wish I could do something about it.. "I am the only one who makes my future." Sure sure.. But I'm taking turtle-steps to get there.

Okay, back to my art..... *sigh*
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