On this eve of this most SACRED day (for which most women become piles of fleshy goo over a bunch of flowers), I am posting this:
I have friends on both sides of the table. I may be an occasional reader of dark/smutty fiction, and an active BDSM, but in no way do I support this drivel. (As a side note, I also do NOT support trashy fiction that has the heroine/hero run into their rapists/abusers arms, bc they "fell in love"). I have heard people try to support this book, but in the wake of all of the negative instances in the book -- of misogyny, mental and emotional abuse, displays of emerging stockholm syndrome, rape, consensual and no-consensual sex, I can not bear this.
I gagged when I read this. I put this down for a moment, because I was so angry. I almost threw my phone across the room. I was morbidly fascinated at how horrible these displays are. I was afraid that if I caved and saw the movie with my friend, I would storm out, make a scene, and insist on a refund/change of movie, or unlimited popcorn for the rest of my life.
How truly disappointing.
And even worse, a display by a friend, that exhibited a non-existent understanding of the difference between flat out rape and emotional/mental abuse leading up to and following, and including truly non-consensual sex..
If you have been flat out raped, you should feel affronted. You should cry, be angry. Punch your offender. Kick him/her in the balls/metaphorical balls.
But if you have been manipulated and tortured, it is a BIG difference. Not only kidnap victims exhibit signs of stockholm syndrome.
I can not wait for that drivel to be over.
And I will also report, I am appalled at that horrid woman doing NO research (some have been kind enough to say she's at least done a bit) of the true BDSM culture. Sexual abuse in the past is not a "trigger" for BDSM. Chains on the wall, whips, a blindfold, a domineering attitude, and saying you are a dominant and BDSM, DOES NOT AT ALL make you a BDSM. It is a mindset, and mutual respect in the physical/mental relationship between two sexual partners, not how much money you can spend on "equipment" or how possessive and physically/mentally abusive you are.
One of the biggest things the blogger got right, is that, in the BDSM community, you don't hit out of anger. But to be clear, you also don't "get" to hit for your own pleasure. Even with people taking Dom and Sub roles, you get pleasure from the pleasure of your partner. It is so so much more complicated. And it is a shame that it is portrayed in such a way from that woman.
By the way, I refuse to call those books, due to the fact that it is so hollow/shallow. I address it as "dry cunt/mommy porn." If anyone is offended by that, my reasons are that 1) the only ones aside from idiots that honestly respect that, are stay at home, unappreciated moms who don't get laid anymore by their cheating lying husbands, 2) those who have yet to find a truly understanding partner, 3) those who just plain don't get any action [and read/watch for the sex]. Or 4) all of the above.
Also for the record, I may engage in deviant acts, but I was still raised Christian (not catholic "christian" either where I can repent my sins of the week). It is also against my moral standards to outright purchase that trash or waste my hard-earned money on those movie tickets.
I have never supported the coffers of any drivel like this in the HISTORY of my life, and I will not start now because of all the stupid girls out there that think a rich good looking guy who acts the way this character does, is in love.
Also, there is an article on Jezebel - if I recall correctly - which summarized this series.
If you're angry about my words, you should be.
Anastasia exhibiting stockholm syndrome is not falling in love, is not a fairytale ending, and should not be supported.